


Disguises

by ramonaspeaks



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Angst, Fluff, M/M, One Shot, Theatre
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-13
Updated: 2015-02-01
Packaged: 2018-02-25 06:29:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2611796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ramonaspeaks/pseuds/ramonaspeaks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil auditions for a play at a local theater and meets Dan, who spends most of his time acting whether he’s on stage or off.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Disguises

**Author's Note:**

> For Charlie and Emily. Thank you for your inspiration. I wouldn't have written this one if not for the two of you and I'm quite happy that I did.

There was a line of black electrical tape on the floor backstage that stretched at an angle from the curtain. It was scuffed like it’d been there for years. Phil stared down at it and moved his toe along the edges curiously.  
  
“It’s the safety zone.”  
  
Phil turned around. He tried to smile when he saw that Dan Howell was speaking to him but it came out faltering. Dan was dressed in a white shirt that was cuffed at his elbows and a tweed vest. He had a matching cap on his head that hid most of his fringe.  
  
It hadn’t escaped Phil’s attention that he was the only person holding a script who didn’t look like he’d stepped out of the 1930s. No one had dressed up for the first set of auditions or told him that it was expected. He glanced down at his clothes with trepidation before responding.  
  
Phil took a step back from the line. “Safety zone?”  
  
“See there?” Dan pointed out at the audience seats that were visible from where they stood. “If you step across the line and get too close to the curtain, people in the audience can see you standing in the wing.”  
  
“Oh. Right. I’ve never been back here before,” Phil said.  
  
His first audition had been held in a smaller room in the same theater building. A long queue had stretched down the hallway and Phil had considered turning around to leave several times before being called to read lines.  
  
“I know. I’ve been in a few shows here before.”  
  
“You were Romeo last month, right?” Phil asked. He neglected to mention that he also knew that Dan had played Billy Bigelow before that and Sky Masterson before _that_. He had a collection of glossy programs in his bedroom featuring Dan’s name and picture.  
  
“Yeah. I’m Dan Howell.” He grinned and didn’t bother to pretend to be surprised that Phil knew of him. “And you’re Philip Lester.”  
  
“It’s Phil, actually.”  
  
“Yours was the only name on the callback sheet that I didn’t recognize.” Dan leaned his head in closer. Phil steeled himself so that he wouldn’t instinctively back away. “You caused a bit of a shirtstorm, did you know?”  
  
“No, I didn’t. What?” Phil looked around at the other kids his age who were waiting to audition. None would meet his gaze but he had assumed that was because they were all nervous. “How’d I manage that?”  
  
Dan laughed. “This play only has four characters. It has two male roles and a complete unknown gets a callback. Quite controversial. Have you acted before?”  
  
Phil shook his head.  
  
“What made you decide to try now?” Dan asked. “I’m glad you did. We need some new players.”  
  
“I just… I really love the play,” Phil stuttered out. He wasn’t sure why he was lying. “I didn’t mean to be controversial.”  
  
“Do you? Tennessee Williams is brilliant. You’re reading for Jim then?” Dan stared down at the highlighted page in Phil’s hand. “I’m going to be Tom.”  
  
“I’m sure.” He didn’t know whether to laugh because Dan spoke with such self-assurance. Under normal circumstances, Phil found cockiness to be off-putting but he couldn’t help liking Dan. “You definitely look the part. No one told me to dress up.”  
  
“Don’t worry.” Dan’s eyes flicked down to take in Phil’s outfit. “Costumes aren’t a normal part of callbacks. We just like going over the top here. You look fine.”  
  
“Thanks.”  
  
Dan opened his mouth to continue but his name was called before he could speak again. He gave Phil a small wave and walked onto the stage. His face changed the moment he stepped out from behind the curtain. The dimple in his cheek disappeared and his mouth set in a hard line.  
  
Dan set his script down on the bar stool that sat in the middle of the otherwise empty stage. He looked out at the audience and ran his fingers up his arms to the hem of his cuff before beginning his soliloquy. “Yes, I have tricks in my pocket. I have things up my sleeve.”  
  
A short girl with long brown hair styled in waves came to stand beside Phil as he watched. She was wearing a blue cotton dress that hit her ankles. “He’s really incredible, isn’t he?”  
  
“Did someone tell him what he’d be reading in advance?” Phil asked her.  
  
She shook her head. “He memorizes the entire script before callbacks. Control freak perfectionist type.”  
  
“Is he?”  
  
“We all are, I guess. Dan just takes it to another level. You’re Phil, right? My name is Emily.”  
  
“It’s nice to meet you.” Phil nodded but didn’t look at her. His eyes were following Dan’s slow walk downstage. “He hasn’t stumbled over a single word.”  
  
“You’re not reading for the role of Tom, are you?”  
  
Phil shook his head. “I’m up for Jim.”  
  
“Good.” Emily raised her eyebrows. “Then maybe you haven’t wasted your entire afternoon.”  
  
They listened in silence as Dan recited the rest of his speech. He was magnetic. There were a few moments when his accent fell flat and vowels rolled off his tongue the wrong way but Phil barely noticed. He was too focused on the conviction in his voice and authority of his movements.  
  
“He is the long delayed but always expected something that we live for.” Dan concluded his reading and dropped his hands by his side. He turned his face up so that his features were illuminated by the lights and held the pose for a moment before rolling his shoulders back and grinning out at the audience. “Thank you.”  
  
Dan picked up his unused script and walked off the stage. He brushed past Phil to stand by Emily.  
  
“Hi, Laura.” Dan gave Emily a warm smile as he greeted her. Phil recognized the name he called her as one of the characters in the play. He’d given the script a cursory glance the previous night.  
  
“Don’t you dare jinx me.” Emily hit his arm. “I haven’t got the part until the casting sheet is up.”  
  
“Please.” Dan rolled his eyes. “I saw your audition. It’s yours.”  
  
“Shut up. I mean it.” Emily stood on her tiptoes to kiss Dan’s cheek. He pulled the cap off his head and shook his hair out before leaning down to hug her.  
  
“I was just telling Phil here about all the gossip he caused. What a scandal.” Dan rested his chin on top of Emily’s head as he spoke.  
  
Phil stared at him, unsure if he was joking or not. “Does everyone hate me then?”  
  
“Of course,” Dan said.  
  
Emily laughed and pulled away from him. She dropped her voice to a whisper as another boy was called onto the stage to read for Tom’s role. Phil spared him a pitying glance.  
  
“Don’t listen to anything he says. No one hates anyone here.” She slung a bag over her shoulder and glanced at Dan. “You coming?”  
  
He shook his head. “I’m going to stay and watch the rest.”  
  
Emily gave him another hug and then surprised Phil by turning to wrap her arms around him as well. “Break a leg out there.”  
  
“Thank you.” He squeezed her shoulders in return.  
  
Phil shuffled back a few steps and watched her walk around to the back exit, then glanced back at Dan’s face. He appeared unfazed by Emily’s gesture, instead grimacing as he watched the boy on stage recite Tom’s opening speech while clutching the script in both hands.  
  
“He doesn’t _get_ the character at all.”  
  
Phil took his distraction as an opportunity to ask the question on his mind. “So is Emily your girlfriend?”  
  
“It’s a bit more serious than that. She was my wife.” Dan laughed at Phil’s expression. “She played Juliet, remember? But now she’s my sister, Laura, so that’s off.”  
  
“Okay.” Phil shook his head.  
  
“She’s not my girlfriend.” Dan grinned at him. “You can ask her out.”  
  
“I wasn’t– I was just curious.”  
  
“You know, it’s too easy to make you nervous. Takes all the fun out of it.”  
  
“Is that what you’re after?” Phil asked. “God, I already feel like I might pass out.”  
  
“You need to work on your confidence.” Dan tore his eyes away from the stage to give Phil an appraising look. “Let’s hear your accent.”  
  
“Okay.” Phil cleared his throat and ignored the criticism. He didn’t lack confidence just because he wasn’t _drowning_ in self-adoration. “My name is Phil Lester and I’m auditioning for the role of Jim in _The Glass Menagerie_.”  
  
“That’s all right.” Dan twisted his mouth. “Well, it got you this far. Just commit to it. No matter how awful your accent is, you’ll do better than the ones who slip in and out of theirs.”  
  
Phil nodded. “Right. Commit.”  
  
“Yeah. And keep your head up.” He put his hand on the small of Phil’s back. “Check your posture. Don’t turn your back to the audience _ever_. Don’t pace around. Only move if you have a reason to move.”  
  
“Okay.” Phil straightened his back and met Dan’s eyes. “Why are you helping me?”  
  
Dan pulled his hand away and crossed his arms over his chest. “Just looked like you might need it.”  
  
They stopped speaking as the boy finished his audition and turned to exit the stage. Dan tried to smile at him but he walked past them without looking up.  
  
“That’s it then. Seven potential Toms and I’m the only one who has the slightest clue who he really is. They all act like he’s a tragedy. Tom’s the only free one in the fucking play.” Dan picked his bag of books off the floor. “You’ll be up next. Maybe I’ll see you at rehearsals.”  
  
“Yeah, maybe.” Phil watched him start to walk away but then called out. “Hey, Dan?”  
  
“What?” He put his cap back on and adjusted the hair that poked out the side.  
  
“Do you think I stand a chance? You can be honest.”  
  
“Oh, definitely.” Dan began walking backwards away from him. “Jim is the guy everyone wants to be. Just act like you’re better than everyone else, but in a nice way.”  
  
Phil stared after him until he was gone and then laughed to himself. He didn’t think there was any chance he’d get the part, but he had an idea that would make his audition more entertaining. When they called his name moments later, he walked onto the stage and pretended to be Dan.  
  
——  
  
Phil didn’t stay to watch the rest of the auditions. He finished reading his lines and practically bolted off the stage with his heart pounding an uneven beat in his chest. The casting sheet would go up precisely at two o’clock the following day, but he waited until dusk to go check. Whether he got the part or not, he didn’t want to face the crowd of people who would be anxiously waiting by the bulletin board hanging outside the entrance of the building.  
  
The theater was a short walk from his house but he took the long route. He breathed a sigh of relief when he turned the corner and it was silent. Everyone must have gone already. He walked around from the back of the building to read the sheet of paper that’d been tacked up. It didn’t take long since there were only six lines of text typed on it.  
  
 ** _The Glass Menagerie_**  
 ** _Casting List_**  
 _Tom………………….. Daniel Howell_  
 _Laura………………… Emily Concha_  
 _Amanda…………….. Stephanie Lasell_  
 _Jim…………………… Philip Lester_  
  
  
Phil exhaled slowly. That was definitely his name. He shook his head in disbelief and turned to walk away, but stopped himself. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and took a picture.  
  
He was grateful for the evidence later that night. It was so out of the realm of things he considered possible that he might have ended up outside the theater building in the cold, trying to determine whether it had been his imagination. He barely slept, instead running his thumb over the image in wonder.  
  
——  
  
On the afternoon of their first rehearsal, the director set chairs out in a circle on the stage and had them read through the entire play. Phil was relieved to see that he wasn’t the only one who still relied on the script. Dan discarded his on the floor as soon as he sat down, but he was the only one.  
  
“You only bring that so you can rub it in our faces that you don’t need it.” Emily nodded towards the worn book at his feet. “Smugness really is your most attractive quality, Dan. Well done.”  
  
“And jealousy is yours.” Dan blew a kiss in her direction. “Talk to me when you’re off book and stop acting like a peasant.”  
  
Phil wanted to laugh with them but stopped himself in case it’d come off like he was inserting himself in the middle of a private joke. He’d never been around people who teased each other so mercilessly. He kept his eyes averted and turned the pages of the script as he listened to their banter.  
  
When they began the read-through and it was his turn to speak, he felt their curiosity boring through him. His stomach fluttered with nerves but he read his lines with confidence. When he looked around the circle after his monologue, Dan met his eyes and gave him a grin that showcased a dimple so deep in his cheek that Phil imagined a marble getting lost in it.  
  
“Your line.” Their director raised an eyebrow and snapped her fingers in rapid succession. “Phil, it’s your line.”  
  
“Oh, right. Sorry.” Phil blushed and searched for where they were in the script. He could almost feel Dan’s smile growing wider but he didn’t take the chance of looking up again.  
  
——  
  
“You know what your problem is? Inferiority complex–”  
  
“No, that’s wrong again.” Dan pinched the bridge of his nose as he cut Phil off right at the start of his monologue. “For fuck’s sake, it’s _what I judge to be the trouble with you_. How can you massacre the very first line?”  
  
“I was close though.”  
  
Phil pulled his knees up to his chest. After several rehearsals had passed and Phil was still missing cues, their director had suggested he take some extra time to practice his lines with a fellow cast member. Stephanie, an aloof girl who rarely spoke to him off stage, had kept her gaze trained on the ground. Phil had cast a pleading look at Emily because she was the most patient of their small group, but Dan had been the one to immediately appear by his side and explain that Emily’s parents were too strict to let her spend time alone with a boy.  
  
He wished that he’d offered to rehearse at his own house. They were sitting on the floor of Dan’s bedroom because that’s where Dan had immediately settled down and Phil had mimicked him like he assumed guests should. What he really wanted was to stand up and put some distance between himself and the drill sergeant voice Dan used whenever he made a mistake. He decided that it would probably look strange if he started pacing around Dan’s bedroom like a caged animal.  
  
“Let’s forget about getting close and try getting the lines right.” Dan looked down at the script and continued in a quiet voice as if talking to himself. “It’s 1937. No one’s going to ask someone what their problem is. I thought you’d got that part down.”  
  
“I know.” Phil closed his eyes. His brain had been acting like a slotted spoon the entire afternoon. Every time he got a few lines of his monologue down, he lost what he’d practiced moments before. “How do you do it?”  
  
“Do what?”  
  
“You have twice as many lines as I do–”  
  
“Triple, probably.”  
  
“–and you never forget them.” Phil rolled his eyes at Dan’s interruption. “Do you have a photographic memory?”  
  
He shook his head. “I don’t think so.”  
  
“Then _how_?”  
  
Phil stretched his legs out and collapsed onto his back with a dramatic groan. He stared up at the ceiling as Dan laughed at him and then followed suit. He laid down beside Phil and held the script up above their heads.  
  
“Do you know what I judge to be the trouble with you, Phil?”  
  
“If you tell me I have an inferiority complex and recite my entire monologue with your eyes closed, I swear to god, I’ll evolve into something that breathes fire and destroy everything you love.”  
  
Dan dropped the script onto the floor and laughed again. “You know, I used to think you were shy.”  
  
“Just tell me what I’m doing wrong.”  
  
“You’re trying to remember the words.”  
  
Phil turned his head and blinked at him. “Right?”  
  
“You’re playing a _person_. These aren’t just words. Get into Jim’s head. Figure out why he’s saying each line.”  
  
“Is that what you do?”  
  
Dan nodded. “Take my character, Tom. He feels trapped. He wants to travel and do loads of exciting things but he’s stuck with his family. He’s gay and he has to hide it by pretending to go to the cinema each night. He’s completely fake, living in a fantasy world until he finally escapes at the end.”  
  
Phil rolled onto his side and propped himself up on his elbow. “Tom’s gay?”  
  
“Of course. Have you even read the play?”  
  
“Yeah, I don’t remember that part.”  
  
Dan laughed. “He never says it but it’s there if you read between the lines. And there’s all that sexual tension when he talks to Jim.”  
  
“There is?” Phil was starting to feel like maybe he _hadn’t_ read the play.  
  
“Why do you think Tom is telling him about his plans to run off? He’s hoping Jim will come with him.”  
  
“They barely know each other and he’s on a date with Tom’s sister.”  
  
“Jim’s also engaged.” Dan shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. Tom wants him, you can tell.”  
  
“And what about Jim? Is he gay too?” Phil asked. “Maybe that’s why he rejects Laura in the end.”  
  
“No, he’s oblivious to everything.” Dan picked the script back up and handed it to him. “It’s not his fault. He’s just naive because he’s happier than most people.”  
  
Phil sat up and scanned through his monologue. “So when Jim tells Laura that she has an inferiority complex, you think he’s trying to be nice.”  
  
“Yeah, exactly.” Dan smiled and tucked his hands behind his head. “You’re this genuine, sweet guy who walks into this screwed up family. You’re sort of perfect but you don’t realize it.”  
  
“Okay.” He stared down at the words on the page and tried to convince himself that it was ridiculous that Dan’s words made his heart race. “Okay, I’m ready. Let me try it one more time.”  
  
——  
  
Even though Dan’s style of coaching was choleric on his best days, Phil always looked forward to the time they spent together. He was improving from the extra practice and even Stephanie had congratulated him when he got through a scene without missing a single line for the first time.  
  
He was beginning to believe that this was something he could manage. More than that, it was something that made him _happy_. The play was on his mind constantly. His favorite lines ran through his head all the time, whether he was in school or showering or eating dinner with his parents.  
  
When he found out that Dan showed up for rehearsals even on days when he wasn’t needed on stage, Phil started to do the same. They spent long afternoons huddled in the back of the mezzanine where their whispers couldn’t be heard. In theory, they were rehearsing.  
  
“Tell the truth this time. Why did you audition?” Dan asked.  
  
He stretched his arm out so that Phil’s copy of the script was out of reach. Phil would have to lean over Dan’s body to grab it back and he briefly considered the idea before sighing and settling back into his seat with his arms folded across his chest.  
  
“I already told you,” Phil muttered.  
  
“Because you love the play so much? You don’t even know it.” Dan shook his head. “What’s your favorite band?”  
  
“I don’t have one.”  
  
“Just name one that you _really_ love then.” Dan waved the script over his head. “I won’t give it back until you answer me.”  
  
“Fine. Muse, probably.” Phil waited for the mockery to begin. He couldn’t imagine his taste in music would appeal to Dan.  
  
“Really?” Dan smiled like he was impressed. “Okay. And if I started singing _Starlight_ right now, would you know every word?”  
  
“Yeah, I guess. What’s your point?”  
  
Dan lowered his hand and Phil snatched the script back before he changed his mind. He turned to the page they’d been practicing and looked through the highlighted sections for the words he’d forgotten.  
  
“People remember the things they love.” Dan raised his eyebrows. “So why’d you audition?”  
  
Phil ignored him and tried to find where they’d left off.  
  
“Look at your face. Is your secret really perverted? Does it involve a fetish for out-of-style suits and little glass animals?”  
  
“No.” Phil laughed. “Jesus. My mum forced me into it. Okay?”  
  
Dan’s eyes lit up with delight that he’d gotten him to break down and then a slow smile spread across his face as he took in the answer. Phil wanted to press his finger into the dimple that always seemed to play hide-and-seek at the corner of his mouth.  
  
“That’s so cute,” Dan said.  
  
“Shut up.” Phil shoved his feet against the back of the seat in front of him and sunk down. “That’s not the _whole_ reason. She told me to give it a go. When I got the callback, I figured she was right about me being afraid to try things, so I showed up. I didn’t think I’d get the part.”  
  
“How did you?” Dan let out an embarrassed laugh when he realized how that sounded and held up a hand. “Don’t get me wrong. I think you’re fabulous and I’m glad they gave you a shot.”  
  
“No, I get it,” Phil said. “I was surprised too. I did what you said with my posture and accent. I don’t know. I just pretended to be you out there.”  
  
“Me?” Dan looked at him out of the corner of his eye with an incredulous expression. “You watched me for, like, two minutes.”  
  
“I don’t mean your acting. I tried to be _you_.” Phil stopped, unsure how to explain.  
  
He turned his gaze back to the stage where Emily and Stephanie were acting out a passionate argument. They wore stiff gowns that restricted their movement because dress rehearsals had begun and Phil felt a pang of sympathy for them. His own costume was a suit that he’d taken from his own wardrobe. They looked much less comfortable than he was.  
  
“How do you pretend to be a person who spends all of his time pretending to be someone else?” Dan finally asked.  
  
“It was pretty easy. I just acted like I was better than everyone else.” Phil sat back up in his seat so that he could shove his shoulder against Dan to show he was kidding. “But in a nice way, like you said.”  
  
Dan was quiet again and Phil started to feel a slight queasiness in his stomach. “Is that really weird? Did I offend you? I didn’t mean it in a bad way, honest.”  
  
“It’s fine.” Dan smiled at him but it didn’t look quite the same as before. “I was just thinking that I wish I’d stayed to watch.”  
  
——  
  
Rehearsals began to run longer as they got closer to opening night. The sun had already set and Phil was fantasizing about what he might eat for dinner later as he changed from his costume back into normal clothes. He was alone in the dressing room because Dan made a habit of using one of the bathroom stalls instead. Phil had wondered more than once if he’d done the same for previous plays but never asked.  
  
He slammed the locker door shut and hurried out of the room but stopped when he saw that Dan was waiting for him outside the door.  
  
“Hey,” Phil said. “Looking for me?”  
  
Dan nodded and held a key up. “We have permission to keep using the stage. Everyone else left. We just have to lock up when we’re done.”  
  
“Why would we do that?” Phil began walking towards the exit. “I want to go home.”  
  
“Someone has to teach you how to waltz for the scene you’re doing tomorrow, right? Emily doesn’t know how. I can teach you and then you can show her later.”  
  
Phil paused. The idea of being alone with Dan in the theater was tempting. There was something about it that felt forbidden and intoxicating. He almost nodded in agreement when he heard his stomach growl.  
  
“Sorry, I’m too hungry.”  
  
“There’s a room downstairs where techies keep food. There’s loads of snacks and coke and stuff.” Dan shrugged. “If you want.”  
  
“Isn’t that stealing?”  
  
“They won’t miss it.” Dan gave him a mischievous smile and took a few steps in the direction of the stairs.  
  
Phil laughed. “Okay.”  
  
He pulled his phone out to call his mum as he followed Dan into an area of the theater he’d never seen before. He explained why he was going to be home late in short, noncommittal sentences because he knew that Dan would be listening. When he finally hung up, he looked around the room they were in with wide eyes.  
  
“Where are we exactly?” he asked. They were surrounded by an odd assortment of items. Rows of books were neatly arranged on shelves by boxes labeled “kitchen” and “bedroom” like they were getting ready to move house. Wardrobes and stacked dining chairs lined the other wall where Dan stood by a small counter and fridge.  
  
“Props room.” Dan pulled a couple cans of coke out of the fridge and placed them on a small table in the middle of the room. “Want me to show you some stuff from old plays?”  
  
Phil sat down and popped the can open. “It’s already half seven.”  
  
“Right.” He opened the freezer and pulled out a carton of ice cream. “Is chocolate chip cookie dough considered dinner?”  
  
“I wouldn’t want to live in a world where it isn’t.”  
  
“Me either.” Dan sat down and handed Phil a spoon. “Are you nervous?”  
  
“Not really. The script says we dance _clumsily_. I can pull that much off.”  
  
“I meant after that part. You have to kiss Emily.”  
  
Phil swallowed the ice cream too fast. It hurt his throat but he forced out a laugh anyway. “Oh, right. Maybe a bit.”  
  
“Have you ever done it before?” Dan stared down at the chunk of cookie dough he was trying to dislodge from the container. “Stage kissed, that is. I figure you’ve kissed someone by now.”  
  
“You know that I’ve never acted at all.” Phil didn’t respond to the rest of what he’d said. He wasn’t sure he could talk to Dan about kissing without turning bright red.  
  
“Don’t worry. It’s Emily’s first time too.”  
  
“Great. Thanks.” He _hadn’t_ been worried until Dan had brought it up. “Neither of us will know what to do. That doesn’t sound awkward at all.”  
  
“Want me to show you?”  
  
“Dan, come on.” Phil choked down the ice cream in his mouth and tried to respond coherently. “We’ve got a director. We’ll manage.”  
  
“Just an offer.” Dan laughed but it didn’t sound as nonchalant as he’d intended. There was an edge to it that Phil couldn’t quite define. “We wouldn’t even have to touch. That’s how it works.”  
  
Phil let his spoon drop on the table. It felt cruel to him because he _wanted_ to kiss Dan. He couldn’t stop thinking about it and he hadn’t worked out exactly what that meant yet, but this half-offering was painful. And still, he found himself nodding. Momentum was pulling him forward and he felt useless in the face of it.  
  
“How does it go?”  
  
“Stand up.” Dan pushed away from the table with a professional air. “There are three ways that I know. The first one is the trickiest.”  
  
Phil got to his feet and let Dan angle his head in the direction he wanted. “What do we do?”  
  
“One person has their back to the audience. That’d be you in this case. Let’s say that door is downstage.” Dan grabbed his shoulders and turned him around. “Then you lean in and move your heads from side to side while your faces are a few inches apart.”  
  
Phil leaned in close enough that he could feel Dan’s breath. He moved his head so that it would look like they were kissing to anyone standing behind him. When Dan closed his eyes, Phil took a step back and exhaled slowly.  
  
“Okay, I think I’ve got that one.”  
  
“Right.” Dan opened his eyes and straightened up. “The hard part is that the audience has different points of view depending on where they sit. Some people might be able to tell you aren’t really kissing.”  
  
“What are the other ways then?” Phil asked.  
  
“There’s another trick.” Dan held his thumb up and wiggled it.  
  
Phil laughed at him. “Oh god. Should I be scared?”  
  
“Not too much.”  
  
Dan cupped Phil’s face with his hands. His palms were at his jaw and his fingers held his cheeks. He moved his thumb to press the pad of it against Phil’s lips and then leaned in so that his own lips touched the other side.  
  
Phil tilted his head and tried to keep his breathing steady. He curled his hands into fists at his side because Dan’s lips were parting in the most seductive way and he was so close that it was torturous. It took all of his will power to keep his lips still against Dan’s thumb. His face was burning up and he wondered if Dan’s fingerprint would be permanently scorched onto his mouth when he finally let go.  
  
“That’s probably the one you’ll use tomorrow.” Dan breathed the words against him. He moved his hands off Phil’s face but didn’t step back. “It’s easy to get away with it. No one can tell your thumb is there.”  
  
“You said there was a third kind.” Phil inclined his head so their noses almost touched. “What is it?”  
  
“That one, yeah. It’s the most realistic.”  
  
Dan licked his lips and exhaled. Phil knew what was coming and his heart was pounding. Dan stepped forward to close the distance between them. He tucked his hand under Phil’s chin again but this time there was nothing between their mouths when he leaned in. Phil closed his eyes when he felt Dan’s lips press against his own. A nervous jolt went through his stomach and his legs felt unsteady so he moved his hands to clutch the table behind him.  
  
It was easy for Phil to get lost in the moment. His head was spinning from the shock that he was actually getting what he had been fantasizing for weeks. Dan’s lips pulled away with a gentle suction and then moved back in again. His mouth was perfect. His lips were soft and the way he moved his tongue was the most erotic thing Phil had ever experienced.  
  
He wasn’t sure how long they stood there. It felt like hours but it was probably only a few minutes before Dan made a small noise and detached himself. He wiped his hand across his face and tried to catch his breath.  
  
“Wow,” Phil said. “That, wow. That was incredible.”  
  
Dan turned away from him and let out a nervous laugh. “Yeah. I’ve been acting for a while now, so you know.”  
  
He started to clean up the counter, tossing cans in the recycling and throwing the carton of melted ice cream into the bin. Phil stared at the back of his head and willed him to turn around and look him in the eye.  
  
“What do you mean?” he asked quietly.  
  
“Nothing. We should probably go now.”  
  
“Dan,” Phil said. “Look at me.”  
  
“Let’s not make a big thing out of it.” Dan turned around to face him. He was blinking back tears but clearly trying to hide it. “It was getting into character, whatever. I was trying to help you.”  
  
“I don’t believe you.”  
  
Phil took a step toward him and tried to reach for his hand but Dan shook his head and turned away again.  
  
“I should finish some things here and then lock up. You should leave. Please.”  
  
Phil wanted to argue. He wanted to ask him what things he could possibly have to do when they’d intended to stay for hours. He wanted to force Dan to meet his eyes and acknowledge him, but it was the broken _please_ that did it. He’d never heard Dan sound small before. He wanted to argue with him but he couldn’t.  
  
“Fine. I’ll go.”  
  
Phil’s hands shook when he opened the door. He ran up the stairs and out of the building. There was a steady reverberation of the word _coward, coward, coward_ in his head that matched the pounding rhythm of his feet as they hit the pavement on the way home. He wasn’t sure if it was directed at Dan or himself.  
  
——  
  
Phil was early to rehearsal the following day. It was the first time he’d ever been on the dressed stage by himself. He took his time wandering the set, looking at the lines of tape that told him where to stand in pivotal moments and running his fingers across doorknobs that didn’t actually open.  
  
It was strange. He was starting to feel like the play was a second home, but a useless one where things were made to look ideal while not actually working. In less than a week, they’d do their best to convince an audience that it was real for three nights and then it’d all be torn down again. A new set would go up, a fresh backdrop to their illusions.  
  
Phil sighed and sat down on the sofa. He imagined Dan standing on this stage in countless costumes, saying memorized words in different accents. He wasn’t sure how he did it.  
  
He heard the sound of footsteps on the stage and looked up.  
  
“Oh god. What’d I do?” Emily asked as she plopped down beside him on the sofa.  
  
“What?” Phil didn’t look at her.  
  
“I’ve never seen someone’s face fall that fast.” She laughed. “You’re bruising my fragile ego.”  
  
“No, I was just–”  
  
“Nervous about today?” Emily grabbed Phil’s face with both hands and pulled it down to kiss the top of his head. “There we are. Now it’s done.”  
  
“Thanks. I feel so much more relaxed now.” Phil laughed and pulled away from her. “So this is your first stage kiss too?”  
  
“No, I played Juliet last month.”  
  
“Oh. Right.” Phil shook his head. He’d known that. It was like he hadn’t let himself remember. “Dan told me… but he played Romeo, didn’t he?”  
  
“He did.” Emily looked down at her hands and pulled a ring on and off her thumb. “Maybe he forgot.”  
  
Phil took a deep breath. “Let me ask you this. Do you know how to waltz?”  
  
“I’ve taken dance classes for five years. What do you think?” Emily looked up and gave him a kind smile. “Do you want another?”  
  
Phil let out a short laugh. “Sure.”  
  
“My parents aren’t strict and they don’t care if you come over to run lines. Dan’s done it a hundred times.”  
  
Phil stared at her. “Are you telling me–”  
  
“I’m not telling you to _do_ anything.” Emily stood up and walked downstage until her toes were aligned with the piece of tape that had the word _WALTZ_ scrawled across it. She held her arms up and cocked her head at Phil. “You deserve to know the truth but Dan’s my friend and I’d never want to upset him. He doesn’t react well when he’s caught in lies.”  
  
Phil walked over to her. “Maybe he shouldn’t tell so many.”  
  
“It’s not that simple.” Emily put her hands on his shoulders. “He practically lives on stage and nothing is real here.”  
  
“That’s such a lame excuse.”  
  
Emily shrugged and began to show him the steps. They were clumsy like the script demanded, but neither felt breathless or light-hearted. They were too distracted by the uncomfortable quiet of a stage that lacked Dan’s constant interruptions. He was usually the first to arrive.  
  
They knew that their director would show up in the next ten minutes and guide them through the same act of giggling and knocking a table over until they performed it to her satisfaction. And they knew that they would smile and laugh and move through the required motions no matter how they were feeling.  
  
Emily was right about that much, Phil thought. Reality had no place there.  
  
——  
  
Even though Dan’s mother had let Phil in the house and said he could go straight up, he stood at Dan’s closed bedroom door for a full minute before working up the courage to knock.  
  
“What?” Dan called out.  
  
“It’s me,” Phil said. “Your mum told me I could–”  
  
The door opened almost immediately. Dan moved aside to let Phil enter the room. He closed the door behind him and went to sit on the edge of his bed.  
  
“Why are you here?” Dan asked.  
  
“You weren’t at rehearsal.”  
  
“It was just blocking for you and Emily. I didn’t need to be there.”  
  
“That never stopped you before.” Phil sat beside him but left a comfortable space between them on the bed. “Emily showed me how to waltz. It turns out she does know how to dance after all.”  
  
“Phil, just stop.”  
  
“Also her parents aren’t the ogres you made them out to be. And she played Juliet before, so–”  
  
“You seem really fixated on Emily.” Dan began tapping his fingers against his knee in agitation. “Do you have a crush or something? I told you weeks ago that you should ask her out.”  
  
Phil stood up and began pacing the room. “You lied to me.”  
  
“I’m not doing this.”  
  
“What?” He turned around and spread his arms out. “What exactly aren’t you doing?”  
  
“You want some big dramatic scene.” Dan stood up to block Phil’s movement and looked him in the eye. “I’m not going to give you some emotional speech or confess anything or–”  
  
“I don’t care about any of that.” Phil shook his head because he was missing the point. “Just admit that you like me.”  
  
“Yeah, all right.” Dan dropped his gaze.  
  
“You wanted to kiss me.”  
  
Dan bit his lip and didn’t respond. He moved out of Phil’s way and sat back down on the bed, twisting his fingers together and staring at the floor.  
  
“You told me Emily couldn’t run lines because you were too scared to ask,” Phil insisted. “You told me that no one else knew how to waltz because you wanted me to stay with you after rehearsal. And then you kissed me because you _wanted_ to do it. Right?”  
  
Dan remained silent.  
  
“Okay.” Phil’s eyes were stinging but he resisted the urge to rub them. If he could keep his composure for the next few minutes, he gave himself full permission to break down into sobs when he got home. “Well, I wanted to kiss you. And you were right, I’ve kissed other people but it’s never been like that. That was, like, a top ten moment for me until you freaked out.”  
  
“I can’t believe I ever figured you to be quiet and shy,” Dan said. “You don’t shut up.”  
  
“Only when things need to be said.” Phil turned towards the door.  
  
“Don’t leave.” Dan crossed one leg on top of the other and began bouncing his ankle against his knee. “If I said that you were right about everything, what then?”  
  
“I’d be happy.”  
  
Phil let go of the doorknob and walked back over to him. Dan wrapped his arms around Phil’s waist and rested his forehead against his stomach. “Are you angry at me?”  
  
“Not really.” He ran his fingers through Dan’s hair and he wasn’t sure if he was trying to be soothing or if he just needed to touch him. “I don’t want you to lie to me, but it’s not like I expect you to go and tell your mum and Emily and–”  
  
“Emily already knows.”  
  
His hands froze. “She knows what?”  
  
“That I like you.” Dan leaned back to look up at him. “That I wanted to kiss you. She’s probably sick of hearing about it by now.”  
  
“Really?” Phil could feel his heart pounding in his throat.  
  
“Well, she’s too nice to come right out and _say_ it.”  
  
“No, that’s not–”  
  
“I know. Everything you said, yeah. I was a twat and I’m sorry.”  
  
“It’s okay. You’re forgiven.” Phil smiled at him.  
  
Dan laughed. “That easy, really? Is that all you’re going to say?”  
  
“Probably. I’m quiet and shy. Not one for big speeches.”  
  
“I don’t believe you.”  
  
Dan leaned back like he was waiting. Phil picked his hands up off the bed and squeezed them before pressing a kiss to the dimple on Dan’s cheek. He smiled against his skin, thrilled to have finally done it, and then moved his lips to the corner of his mouth. Dan inhaled a deep breath and wrapped his arms around Phil’s neck. They both leaned in at the same time and when their lips met, it was definitely a top ten moment.  
  
——  
  
Phil stood backstage on opening night to watch the beginning of the show. His character didn’t make an appearance until the second half of the play and he could have spent that time going over his lines again or relaxing in the dressing room, but he felt prepared enough. There was a magical element to seeing the culmination of their work and he found himself near tears several times while watching his castmates perform.  
  
He’d heard every word of the play dozens of times by now, but it still felt fresh to him. He got caught up in the excitement and he wanted to clap his hands together every time the audience applauded.  
  
A few minutes before his scene began, Phil stood in the wings at the edge of the stage. Dan came up to wait beside him because their characters would be entering together.  
  
“You ready?” Dan asked. He grabbed Phil’s hand and gave it a squeeze.  
  
“I don’t think I’ve ever been this excited about anything.”  
  
Dan smiled at him. “Me either. You’re going to be brilliant.”  
  
“Thanks. You’ve been amazing all night,” Phil said.  
  
They heard the words being spoken on stage that were their cue to enter. They each took a final deep breath before stepping over the line on the floor together and leaving the safety zone behind.


	2. Masks That Slip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's difficult to watch your best friend falling in love, especially if he's not ready to admit it himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a companion piece that runs concurrent to "Disguises" rather than a continuation of the story, but I am putting them together because this doesn't stand alone. It wouldn't make any sense if read on its own.

The first time Emily heard Dan say Phil's name, he was spitting it out like it was poison.  
  
"Who the _fuck_ is Philip Lester?" Dan asked. "This is complete shit."  
  
"Hm?"  
  
Emily spared him a distracted hum as her eyes raced down the list of names. If she'd been able to predict the reverent tones she'd be forced to endure in the coming weeks, she might have taken more care to savor his rage. She continued scanning the paper in front of her until she recognized her own name.  
  
"Oh oh, _yes_ , thank god." Emily squealed. Her fists unclenched and she wiped sweaty palms down her skirt. "I'm on there."  
  
Dan scoffed. "Obviously."  
  
Emily turned to him. It wasn't uncommon for him to pout for days over a bruised ego. She touched his arm and gave him a placating smile. "Sorry. What's wrong?"  
  
"This wanker here. Who is he?" Dan tapped the unfamiliar name that was printed below his own. A girl standing to their left in the crowd sputtered out a laugh. He rolled his eyes at her shocked expression and continued in an even louder voice. "And why has he got a callback?"  
  
"Can you please move?" Stephanie shoved her way to the front of the group and tried to squeeze between them. "You're blocking the way."  
  
"Oh, stop pushing. You made it."  
  
Dan snorted at Stephanie's glare but Emily muttered a quick apology and tugged on his hand.  
  
"Be nice," she whispered.  
  
They made their way through the swarm of people until they weren't surrounded on all sides and leaned against an unoccupied brick wall. Several people were standing away from the crowd, holding bitten nails to their lips and shuffling their feet as they waited for space to open up at the bulletin board where the callback list was tacked.  
  
Emily scanned the crowd as each person checked the list and turned around with either a crest-fallen or jubilant expression. "I don't see anyone that I don't recognize. Do you?"  
  
"No." Dan's forehead was creased in concentration. "He's not even here."  
  
"Maybe he won't go to the second audition either. Don't worry about it."  
  
"I'm not worried."  
  
Dan pushed off the wall and started walking. He kicked a wad of paper on the pavement and quickened his pace. Emily sighed and hurried to catch up with him.  
  
"Good," she said.  
  
"I'm not."  
  
"I believe you."  
  
"It's just weird." Dan ruffled his hair and turned to her. "Like, who the fuck is he?"  
  
Emily shrugged.  
  
They walked in silence until they reached her gate. Dan grabbed her wrist just as she went to pick up the latch.  
  
"Do you think he's going for Tom?" Dan asked.  
  
"I don't think it matters."  
  
Emily squeezed his hand and began pulling him down the path of her garden.  
  
——  
  
"All right." Emily pushed past Dan and whipped around with hands on her hips as soon as he opened his bedroom door. She arched an eyebrow. " _What_ was that?"  
  
Dan made a shushing motion as he closed the door. "Keep your voice down."  
  
"You were _flirting_ with Phil."  
  
Emily tried to keep her voice neutral but the words flew out like an accusation. It sent a thrill of horror down her spine that he might think it was out a jealousy. There were plenty of people who mistook their sarcastic banter and little touches as proof that their relationship was more than friendship. Even her parents had asked some pointed questions after catching them alone in her room, snuggled under a heap of blankets and eating popcorn from a shared bowl as they watched _Titanic_ for the hundredth time. The uncontainable bark of laughter that escaped once she understood their implications calmed their suspicions. Also the fact that her father was completely convinced that Dan was gay.  
  
"I wasn't flirting. He needed help and I offered." Dan flicked hair out of his eyes and maintained his placid expression. "You've just never seen me attempt to be friendly before. Honest mistake. I won't hold it against you."  
  
"I heard you lie about how I couldn't help him practice." Emily rolled her eyes. "And he was flirting with you too."  
  
"No, he wasn't." Dan lowered his voice, eyes darting to his closed bedroom door. "Was he?"  
  
"You have no clue, do you? He's been drooling as much as you have."  
  
Despite the protestations Emily gave her parents whenever the topic came up, she wasn't sure herself what Dan would name his sexuality if he ever decided to give himself a label. There was a flicker of fear in his eyes that made her stomach tighten.  
  
"You can tell me to shut up," she said.  
  
Dan shook his head and looked down at her with a wry smile. "Since when has that ever worked before?"  
  
Emily laughed and settled on the floor at the foot of his bed. She picked up the matching controllers and tossed one to him.  
  
"Mario Kart?" she offered.  
  
It was half an hour later when Dan spoke again as if they'd never stopped their previous conversation. Emily was gritting her teeth as she rounded a corner and tried to keep her hold on first place.  
  
"Do you really think he likes me?" Dan asked. "Sometimes I think that too but maybe he's just nice to everyone and meanwhile I can't stop fantasizing about kissing him."  
  
"Are you– _fuck_ ," Emily shouted as she got hit from behind by a blue shell. She turned and hit Dan on the arm. "You did that on purpose. No one should like you."  
  
Dan grinned as he raced ahead of her and passed the finish line in first place.  
  
"But he does?"  
  
"I think so. Yeah."  
  
Emily tossed the controller on the ground. She tried to hold back the swell of emotion that she felt building inside of her but only lasted a few seconds before throwing her arms around Dan's shoulders and giving him a tight hug. It was a relief that amidst the awed gratitude that Dan trusted her and the flicker of insecurity at being replaced, she found herself genuinely _pleased_ for him.  
  
"Whoa, okay now." Dan gave her a small pat on the back. "You're not going to start crying, are you?"  
  
"I'm just happy."  
  
"Why?" Dan laughed.  
  
"Be quiet." Emily squeezed her eyes shut and let go of Dan, who stared at her with an amused expression. "Thank you for telling me."  
  
Dan rolled his eyes and said nothing as they started a new game. It wasn't until they were preparing to round another sharp curve that she was jolted out of her own thoughts.  
  
"So," Dan said. "You _really_ think he likes me too?"  
  
Emily sighed.  
  
——  
  
There was a part of Emily that wanted to hate Phil for taking up her best friend's attention. She had grown comfortable playing the lead role in Dan's life but she found it increasingly difficult to stir up more than a spark of resentment toward him. Phil was just so _sweet_.  
  
Not that it was going to protect him from a bit of teasing.  
  
"Turn to your left rather than taking a step back," Dan instructed as he took hold of Phil's shoulders and swiveled him around, "so you'll be in position for your next line."  
  
"Okay. Got it."  
  
Phil allowed himself to be hauled about the stage and then repeated his lines before looking at Dan with a timid smile.  
  
"Better?" he asked.  
  
"Much," Dan said in a soft voice.  
  
The wattage of Phil's smile increased tenfold. His face lit up the stage with every gentle compliment that Dan gave him. Emily cast her gaze at the lighting board, half expecting the operator to shout down at them to please stop interfering with his work.  
  
"Oh. That's... good then." Phil shuffled back a few steps and grinned down at the floor. "Sorry for taking up most of your break."  
  
"I don't mind helping you." Dan moved to touch Phil's shoulder but then dropped his hand as if changing his mind at the last moment. "Really."  
  
Emily snorted.  
  
Dan looked over Phil's shoulder and raised an eyebrow at her. It was unlikely that he’d even known she was there. She gave him a sweet smile and waved from her spot on the edge of the stage. Then she poked her tongue into the side of her cheek and moved it up and down obscenely as she stared at the back of Phil's head. Dan widened his eyes in horror.  
  
"What are you looking at?" Phil turned around just as Emily slipped on a mask of complete innocence. "Oh, hey."  
  
"What are you doing here?" Dan asked in a weary voice.  
  
"Just watching you help Phil out there," Emily said. "Is there something wrong?"  
  
Dan narrowed his eyes. It was probably meant to be intimidating but Emily found she preferred it to the doe-eyed softness from moments before.  
  
"Nothing is wrong," Dan snapped. "Except that I don't like being watched."  
  
"Did you really–?" Emily choked on a small laugh. "Right, Dan. That is _brilliant_."  
  
She dropped back on her elbows with another suppressed giggle before finally giving in and sprawling flat on her back to laugh without restraint up at the vaulted ceiling. Dan Howell had just claimed to not like people looking at him. She supposed anything was possible now.  
  
"If you're quite done," Dan said drily.  
  
Emily let her legs dangle off the side of the stage as her laughter bubbled out and echoed into the empty auditorium. She turned her head and looked up at them. Dan rolled his eyes but he was holding back a grin. Phil bit his lip as if he wanted to laugh but wasn't sure it was allowed.  
  
"Sure." Emily sat up as she regained control of herself and wiped her wet eyes on the sleeve of her dress. "I should let you continue your _rehearsal_ now."  
  
"Why do you say it like that?" Phil looked at Dan. "I always feel like I'm on the outside of a joke."  
  
"You're not. Pay no attention to the pocket-sized plebeian over there." Dan rubbed his forehead. "She sometimes has these strange fits of hysteria over nothing."  
  
"So you're not making fun of me?" Phil asked.  
  
"Maybe a tiny bit." Emily touched his arm and shrugged good-naturedly as she passed him. "But I promise, Phil, if we never made fun of you, _that_ would mean you were on the outside."  
  
——  
  
"Honestly, Dan, it's really late already." Emily pulled her legs up onto the bed and crossed them in front of her. "Are you going to tell me what happened or not?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
She glanced at the clock on her bedside table. It had been an hour since Dan had showed up in her bedroom with a panicked expression and demanded to speak to her. So far he hadn't managed more than monosyllabic answers to her questions. He was sitting on the opposite side of her bed with an expression that made her concerned he might become ill on her duvet at any moment.  
  
"Really, maybe it would–"  
  
"I kissed Phil."  
  
"Oh my god." Emily reached out and impulsively slapped the side of Dan's leg. " _Finally_."  
  
There were excited congratulations and questions practically tripping out of her mouth but the panic in Dan's eyes made her pause. He made a quiet noise of distress at her words and it suddenly occurred to her that there was a _tiny_ possibility that Phil hadn't reacted well.  
  
Emily frowned. "What happened after you kissed him?"  
  
"Nothing good." Dan dropped his face into his hands. "I can't."  
  
"Are you really going to make me guess?" Emily asked. "Let’s see. Phil punched you in the jaw."  
  
Dan lifted his head. "No."  
  
"Phil screamed and ran away while shouting vulgar names at you that he most likely picked up from the two of us."  
  
"No."  
  
"Phil kissed you back?" Emily asked.  
  
Dan looked up at the ceiling and exhaled slowly. "Yeah."  
  
"Why are you so upset then? Don't tell me he's bad at it."  
  
"No." Dan rolled his eyes. "That definitely wasn't the problem."  
  
"Well, I had to ask. Don't take this the wrong way but Phil does give off a sort of puppy vibe. I'm glad it wasn't enthusiastic panting and slobbering on your chin."  
  
The corner of Dan's mouth twitched in a flicker of a smile. "There was no slobber."  
  
"That's a relief." Emily leaned forward to pat his knee. "As long as the kiss was good, then I'm sure whatever is wrong can be sorted out."  
  
Dan shook his head. "I don't know. He's probably never going to speak to me again."  
  
"Let me see if I can guess the rest," Emily said. "You kissed Phil. He kissed back. It was good. And then you panicked."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"You told him it hadn't meant anything."  
  
"Right."  
  
"Then you left."  
  
"Not exactly." Dan blinked rapidly and then rubbed at his eyes. "I made _him_ leave."  
  
Emily sat back and crossed her arms. There were several options available to her. It was obvious from Dan's reluctance to divulge any details that his distress was genuine. She knew him well enough to recognize when he was merely indulging his theatrical side. While the idea of continuing her interrogation until she had a clear picture of exactly what had happened after she'd left rehearsal appealed to her curiosity, it probably wasn't the gentle approach that Dan needed the most.  
  
There was also the fact that she was exhausted. The clock on her bedside table seemed to mock her. Getting over five hours of sleep was looking more like a pipe dream with every elongated sigh that fell from Dan's lips.  
  
"Have you ever considered," Emily began in a careful tone, "that Phil is every bit as scared as you are?"  
  
"No," Dan said. "He didn't seem scared at all."  
  
"You're unbelievable." Emily shook her head with a quiet laugh. "You should know better than anyone that people use masks when they're feeling insecure or–"  
  
"That's where you're wrong," Dan insisted. "That's what _you_ do and it's what _I_ do. But Phil– he doesn't– he's not–"  
  
"Not like us?"  
  
"He's not fake." Dan swallowed. "Like me."  
  
"Well, he's not _perfect_ either." Emily sighed when he narrowed his eyes. "I wasn’t insulting him. You know how much I like Phil. Don’t look at me like that."  
  
"If he's not perfect,” Dan said in a hoarse whisper as his eyes glazed with unshed tears, “he’s still too good for me. Tonight proved that much.”  
  
"All right. That's it." Emily swung her feet over the edge of the bed and hopped down. She wasn’t going to let her best friend leave while feeling like this, no matter the sleep deprivation she would suffer. "Get your phone out. Call your mum and tell her you're staying at mine tonight."  
  
"What are you going to tell your parents?" Dan asked.   
  
"I'll make something up." Emily threw him a resigned smile over her shoulder. "Isn't that what we do?"  
  
——  
  
"Hi, darling. Are you going to bed?" Emily's mother didn't look up from her book when Emily poked her head inside her parents' bedroom. "You might not have school tomorrow but remember there's still dance practice before your rehearsal."  
  
"I know. Mum?" Emily shifted from one foot to the other in the doorway. "I was actually wondering if–"  
  
"What are those?" Her mother gave a small nod at the two sleeping bags in her arms.  
  
"I was wondering if Dan and I could stay in the lounge tonight."  
  
Emily's father walked out of the ensuite bathroom and raised an eyebrow. "Dan’s still here? It's almost midnight."  
  
"I know," Emily said. "We've been going over lines and the time just slipped away."  
  
"Well, that's all right." Her mother caught her father's eyes in a questioning gaze. "I'm not sure about the sleepover though."  
  
"I promise," Emily took a step inside their room, "we won't stay up much longer and we'll be right downstairs the whole time and–"  
  
"No, it's fine," Dan said from behind her. She turned to see him standing in the doorway, looking down at his hands in embarrassment. His eyes were still red-rimmed and watery. "I'm sorry for staying so late, Mr. and Mrs. Concha. I was having a small crisis. Just having some... boy trouble."  
  
Emily froze at his words. She took a step back and reached down to give his hand a gentle squeeze.  
  
"Oh," Mr. Concha said in surprise. "No, it's all right, Dan. You don't have to apologize."  
  
"Of course," Emily's mother agreed. "What kind of trouble is that?"  
  
"The kind where I like this boy in our theater group," Dan stammered, "but I'm not sure if he likes me."  
  
Emily's parents exchanged a glance.  
  
"Your mum knows where you are?" Mrs. Concha asked.  
  
Dan nodded.  
  
"Go ahead then. You two don't stay up much later though," Mr. Concha said. "Don't take it too hard, Dan. It's a strange sight seeing you look glum. I'll make us all a nice breakfast in the morning. Cheer you up?”  
  
Dan laughed. "Thanks. I’m sure it will."  
  
Emily gave her parents each a hug in turn and held on a few seconds longer than usual before turning to follow Dan out of the room.  
  
"See?" Emily whispered when she caught up to him at the bottom of the stairs. "Not such a big deal, was it?"  
  
She smoothed out the sleeping bags and pulled pillows off the sofa. There was color in Dan's cheeks now and she knew it was mostly from embarrassment and shock but it was still an improvement over the ashen complexion he'd had when he first arrived.  
  
"I guess it wasn’t," Dan answered when they were stretched out side by side on her lounge floor. "They didn't even seem freaked out. It makes me feel guilty about the image Phil must have of them."  
  
"Right," Emily laughed. "The control freaks who won't even let me teach him how to waltz. Speaking of which, how did the dancing go?"  
  
"We didn't really get to that part."  
  
"I can't say that I'm surprised. Probably too busy with–"  
  
"None of that," Dan groaned. "No more teasing tonight. I can't bear it."  
  
"Fine, no more jokes," she agreed. "Are you going to tell me what happened now? No embellishments, no omissions. I want to help if I can."  
  
There was a long moment of silence that Emily was determined not to fill. She swore to herself that she wouldn't ask again if he seemed reticent.  
  
"Okay," Dan finally responded. "I'll tell you."  
  
“Good,” she whispered back. “I’ll listen.”


End file.
